Episode II

Ok so I have to start with the Warriors.  How bad are they?  Brian McClennan is doing way to good of an impression of Pat Lam.  Bluey, I’d hate to say it mate, but it’s not good enough.  The Warriors (Grand Finalists last year) have the player depth and the development coming through but they are missing one thing.  Now a lot of people will disagree with this but they are missing Aussies.  Where are the grafters?  There are loads of ball players and yes there is Michael Luck and Simon Mannering to get things done, but the Warriors can’t rely on two people alone to make the metres.  The reality is they need more and Rusty Packer and Sam Ripira etc aren’t getting the job done.  Add to that the fact that they are still missing a quality attacking Hooker since the departure of Nathan Fien, and it’s easy to see why the Warriors are struggling.  Yes Bluey had a squad he was dealt with, but let’s hope he can make the finals at a minimum, after all the final wasn’t that long ago and it’s hard to see a dip in form that goes from Grand Finalist to nowheresville in one season.

A quick side note has to go out here to George.  Yes the Protea’s beat the BlackCaps convincingly but that’s enough now, our ego is damaged enough now and we don’t need to be dragged through the mud again.  By us I mean my, although I’m sure you’ll never let me forget about it.  By the way, rumour has it you are still a filthy cheat in 30 Seconds. 

Dare I say we need to talk about the Rugby.   What a disgrace I was in the picking comps this weekend.  Definitely the worst round I have ever had in Virtual Sports Comps.  1 win in 7 games.  Don’t worry I’m appalled enough in myself for everyone.  Both the Highlanders and the Crusaders (who I thought as potential winners would win) lost, two games I picked the other way around.  And then there was the Aussie round from hell to pick followed by the Lions getting pumped by the Cheetahs.  Dammit!!!!!!!!!!  The Hurricanes much to my amazement smashed the Sharks, on both the scoreboard and in the all-in brawl they had.  Jannie du Plessis, not your finest moment pal, a hard open hand slap, really?!  I must apologise to the Bulls too.  The game against the Crusaders was of finals quality and you now must be considered genuine contenders, as must the Stormers after their brutal dismantling of the Highlanders.  Things weren’t pretty but you got it done when it counted, and fortunately for you Chris Noakes had the games from his nightmares to hand you every bit of possession you could have dreamed for. 

Whilst watching the Heineken Cup over the weekend I couldn’t help but notice one thing.  How much better at Rugby New Zealanders are than anybody in Europe.  I don’t mean any disrespect to some great European players (although nobody instantly springs to mind) I can’t help but feel you’re all just a bit crap.  During the Lienster Vs Cardiff Blues games the only thing the commentators could talk about was how good Brad Thorn was.  Don’t get me wrong I too think he is amazing as an athlete but if we are being brutal lets be honest.  He is 37, yes he has won a World Cup and yes he probably would have made the All Blacks this year, but next year?  I doubt it.  He is an ageing talent and yet he was head and shoulders above anybody else in a Heineken Cup Quarter Final, involving some of the best players that Europe has.  I predict as young and bright as the future of both Wales and England look, the Southern Hemisphere as usual will well and truly have the measure of their opponents from up north and dispatch them at will again and again as they have done so for the last 50-100 years.  Another couple of things have stuck out from this game that I watched.  The first being that the crowd was amazing.  55 000 people in Landsdowne Road (as it should always be known) for a club match.  And isn’t it eerie when they are all silent for kicks at goal, it is something that is surely off putting for those who kick goals from the Southern Hemisphere as it is something that is totally foreign to us.  The second interesting point for me was that the two Kiwi coaches of Leinster (Joe Schmidt & Jonno Gibbes) seem to be doing an awfully good job.  If I was Pat Lam, a) I would be hoping to be put out of my misery and fired before the end of the season, and, b) I would be looking over my shoulder at the number of New Zealand coaches coaching in Europe and excelling.  Not only is the list getting longer but more qualified to not only lead a Super Rugby franchise to glory but to use that as a stepping stone to the All Blacks, something that dear old Pat will never come within cooee of.  Fingers crossed anyway, we all thought the same could be said about Ian Foster, yet somehow he has managed to become an All Blacks assistant.  Let’s hope Pat Lam never finds himself as out of depth as ‘Fozzie’ is about to for the sake of all New Zealanders and world Rugby alike. 

Tigers' a prat, and we all know it.

I have to finish with the Masters today.  An American tradition that excludes well, pretty much everybody apart from the rich white males that have CEO after their name.  So a Swede leads a Yank and there are a few other guys playing.  One of them happens to be a former magician of his game who had a massive blowout a year or two ago in life and now couldn’t sink a drink properly let a lone a put or win a tournament let alone a ‘Grand Slam’.  So what has happened to Tiger, the once poster image of professional sport?  Watching him play at the Masters over the weekend I can’t help but compare him to a childish, spoiled brat.  Whenever something doesn’t go his way he is often recorded cursing and making a fool out of himself.  I am aware Golf can be frustrating, one only needs to follow me around the course for an example of that, but when you are cursing about being a foot further to the left that you wanted to be on the green, let’s be realistic, times could be tougher.  Tiger needs to grow up is what I’m saying, and I don’t think he will be any good again until he does.  He needs to bring some perspective and maturity to his game, after all he isn’t the 20-year-old protégée that he once was.  You’re in your mid 30’s man, grow up!  Personally I think Tiger is the greatest golfer that this world has ever seen, even better than the great Jack Nicklaus but I don’t think he will be remembered as that until he cleans his act up, grows up and starts winning tournaments again.  He his heading his way to being just another good golfer instead of the ‘Master’ he is and the legend that help grow and progress his sport to being a truly professional competitive organisation of real athletes rather than a comp full of old fat retired white dudes with too much money and time on their hands. 

So there we have it, aren’t you proud of me, two episodes in one weekend!  Oh and c’mon Bubba Watson!!  I’m backing you to win the Masters, after all it’s probably time someone loved you, you’re parents can’t of with that name if we’re being honest.

Til next week folks, Keep Going Balls to the Wall.