Tell em He's Dreamin.......

A bit of a different idea this week team. 

We’re going to focus on the bumbling fools that are known as SARU, or for those of you out there that don’t know what that stands for, the South African Rugby Union.

Now a few months back, around the same time that this years Super Rugby tournament was due to kick off SARU announced that the Southern Kings would be playing in next years competition, no ifs or buts. 

What's going on at SARU?  Does anybody know?

But (that didn’t take long did it), problem is they forgot to ask if any one of the existing five franchises doesn’t mind just shuffling off in to no mans land never to be seen or heard from again.  That was their first problem, and to be fair I’m not quite sure what old mate Oregan Hoskins and Jurie Roux were thinking making the statement without thinking about it’s consequences.  Secondly they forgot to mention to SANZAR the conglomerate of NZ, SA and Aus that runs the Super Rugby competition, that they want an extra team, oopps.

What lead them to come out with the statement and as a result stick by it, even though they must realise that maybe they overcommitted slightly?  I’m only speaking from an outsiders perspective so obviously I know very little about the powers that be that must be placing pressure on SARU to give Black and Coloured rugby a leg up, but I think most of us with half a brain can put two and two together and see what is happening here.

The Southern Kings will be based out of Port Elizabeth, a hotbed of black and coloured rugby where the All Blacks get as much if not more respect from the locals compared to the Springboks, not only due to their rugby ability but because of the way New Zealand has for the most part never excluded players because of colour.

How happy would you be if you were operating one of the existing franchises and now you will potentially be axed from the competition and as a result a job by the conclusion of this years tournament, and with the speed of bureaucracy you might not even find out until you have done half of you planning for the next season.  What are the sponsors going to do who have invested millions into these franchises who now might not be playing next year?  Who is going to subsidise them, the players, the coaches the managers, the grounds?  The list is endless.  That’s a lot of compensation for a union to pay that I was reading the other day is trying to hold back on paying out Springbok subsidies to the franchises in an attempt to save some cash.

So SARU sent a ‘team’ of smooth talkers around Australia and NZ to convince them to support their hair-brain idea that the competition should be expanded to 16 teams and go back to the old format of playing each other team once, instead of the current conference format which is only into it’s second season and is locked into a broadcasting deal until 2015 anyway.  Good idea lads, how’d that work out for ya?  Funnily enough both Australia and NZ told them to go and shove it and sort out their own problems rather than try to drag everyone else down with them by breaking a few more contracts and paying a bit more compensation that no one can afford given the state of the world economy.  Big sponsorship deals are hardly easy to come by at the moment, especially if you are seen to be screwing around with your current deal.  No thanks.

So what do they do?  Do they go back to the Government and say “sorry boys we tried but no one else wants to get involved in our problems, we tried, honestly”.  Or do they kick out an existing franchise and effectively kill off one of the traditional strongholds of South African Rugby? 

I don’t know want the answer is and I’m sure as hell glad I’m not the one making the decision.  One thing I do know though is, if I was involved with the Cheetahs in any way, shape or form I would be sweating on whatever decision is made, as the ramifications could be huge.

On that note, I had better say quickly how bizarre the Highlanders v Cheetahs game was on Saturday evening.   The highlanders, outplayed for 60 minutes by Johan Goosen, come back with a stellar three tries in seven minutes, only for Sias Ebersohn to miss a penalty to win it from right in front with 3 minutes to go, and then Chris Noakes nails a tricky penalty from 45m out and on an angle to win it 36-33 in the last minute.  The heart has to go out to Naka Drotske and Os Du Randt.  They must have thought it was in the bag with ¾ of the game gone.  Jamie Joseph on the other hand must have been wondering why they Highlanders didn’t play like they did in the last 20 minutes for the whole game; they couldn’t catch a shadow in the beginning only to turn untouchable themselves.  Who’s want to be a coach?!

Over and Out.

Keep going balls to the wall.

A Traitor, a Disgrace and the Rise of the Southerners and Saffas.

Let’s get down to it and be honest right from the get go, James Tamou is a traitor.  He might claim to be a Kiwi and a proud Maori blah blah blah.  What a crock.  If he was, he wouldn’t be wearing green and gold come Friday night.  What a joke the Aussies have made International League………. Again.  Just when it seemed the dubious poaching of players was beginning to fade into the dishonest and disgraceful past of league, the Aussies prove they don’t want to let go of it just yet by the looks.  Born and raised in Palmerston North and now a Kanagroo, c’mon!  One can only hope that the Kiwi boys remind master Tamou of a damn good Six60 song with the lyrics, “Don’t forget your roots my friends yeah, don’t forget your family”!  In saying that though, if he doesn’t want to play for New Zealand, fine, he wouldn’t have been any good anyway if his heart wasn’t in it.  Let’s hope that’s the case when he lines up against his friends and family this weekend in the Anzac Test.  Whilst I could never and would never condone Issac Luke’s behaviour against his own traitor cousin when playing against England last year, let’s hope a few of the Kiwi’s boys teach him a damn good lesson for being a turncoat and Tamou leaves the ground as battered and bruised as is possible (within the rules of the game of course).

Well done the Breakers on getting through to the Grand Final series of the ANBL.  Another stellar year and the boys are trying their best to replicate last season as best they can by cutting it fine in the semi’s before going on to take out the big one.  Let’s hope they complete a successful trifecta on Friday night with the Highlanders getting up, then the Kiwi’s and finally the Breakers by overcoming Perth and lifting the trophy for the second year in a row. 

Jimmy Cowan is heading overseas after 12 seasons in NZ

Well done to Jimmy Cowan who over the last couple of days has confirmed at the end of the year he will be moving to Gloucester.  Cowan with 51 Tests and counting, 100 Super Rugby Caps so far and 94 Southland Caps will go overseas with good wishes and everybody’s blessing.  Cowan’s competitive spirit and combativeness could never be questioned, he has always been a battler, even with the bottle at various stages in his career, and to his credit his has always risen above these challenges and comeback not only a better player but better man, if only Jesse Ryder would take a look at how Jimmy Cowan has managed this and started putting a system in place to stop him from becoming the latest joke in world Cricket.   So hats off to Cowan, unlike Kaino you have given it your all, achieved everything that you could have and now that you are probably slipping down the pecking order in NZ, through no fault of your own, you have decided to head overseas and gain a fresh environment and perspective.  Good Luck.

The Blues saga has drawn out for another week longer than it should have with Pat Lam suggesting that he could be interested in reapplying for his position for next season.  This coming at the same time that he has been linked to a move with the Sale Sharks in the Aviva Premiership.  Pat, the time has come pal, do everyone a favour including yourself and bow out with some respect will you.  Just leave now and try and leave the Blues with some hope for next year before you make everything around them crumble as well.  And as for the breaking down in tears due to racist remarks made about you on twitter and talkback radio shows, really?  Are you that soft all of a sudden?  No wonder the Blues are in trouble, if you’re allowing anonymous comments from a couple of ignorant bigots to get to you.  How do you react if someone disagrees with you face to face or you have a debate about what the best tactics to employ are?  Be a man, man. It’s time Andy Dalton stood up as CEO of the Blues and earned his large pay-cheque instead of simply paying lip service to the NZRU procedures when it come to the hiring and reviewing of staff, their performance and their positions and proves to everyone that he does have a pair of kahuna’s and fires the coach of the most underwhelming season a New Zealand team has ever had in Super Rugby.  Don’t forget the fact that the Blues have the largest player base, fan base and sponsorship market to answer to in New Zealand also, I bet more than a few people are wondering why they are paying so much money for so little leadership from either their Coach or their CEO.

But enough of the off field stuff.  What a round of Super Rugby it was!  As mentioned earlier the Blues managed to disgrace themselves further by losing to the Sharks at home and after the bye.  Not sure what game Pat Lam was watching when after the match he said he was proud of the effort.  The Sharks need to decide if they are going to use all their Springbok power and actually challenge for the title this year or not.  One week solid, the next week a disaster.  John Plumtree needs to figure out how to make this lot consistent, and soon if they are to be the real deal.  The Force and Waratahs played out an underwhelming battle as one would expect from an Australian Conference Derby.  The Waratahs came out on top, as expected, but didn’t set the world alight in doing so, as expected.  The Crusaders for a second week in a row fought out a battle of epic proportions, this time coming out on top of the ledger against the Stormers.  Both of these teams must be considered finals material after their displays in the last couple of rounds.  Congratulations to Tom Taylor who broke a Crusaders record points haul and equalled the number of penalties in a match on his way to scoring all 31 points for the Crusaders, if Dan Carter wasn’t already looking over his shoulder at the growing list of five eighths in New Zealand, I’m sure Taylor’s performance would have reminded him he needs to start doing so a bit more from now on.  The Brumbies smashed the Rebels at home in Canberra and were as dominant as any team could be against yet another of the Aussie no-hopers, to confirm that they really do look like the best of the rag tag Australian Conference.  The Cheetahs went down fighting to the Chiefs but what a game!  Both teams played entertaining running rugby as was expected with the Chiefs managing to finish off the match with a bit more puff in their sails than the Cheetahs.  Surely though the Cheetahs are putting their best foot forward this year in their case to not be ‘culled’ (did you get it?) for next season.  And last but not least the injury ravaged Lions went down to the Bulls who are looking ever more confident and like the title contenders they have been over the last four to five years.

Based on the last couple of weeks there have been a few changes in the pecking order for the Super Rugby title for 2012.  The Chiefs confirmed that they are a real threat but I think most of us had already suspected that was the case after what we have seen from them so far this season.  However the rise of the Bulls and Crusaders has been impressive over the last few weeks, as has the Stormers ability to hang in their and prove that they are there or thereabouts after having had the easiest life of anybody so far by playing weaker teams each week and generally at Newlands.  If I were a betting man I would say the top six on merit come the end of the season will be the Chiefs, Stormers, Crusaders, Bulls, Highlanders and Brumbies.

Enjoy the next week of sports team and remember, C’mon the Kiwis!!!!!

Til next weeks wrap, Keep Going Balls to the Wall people.

Episode II

Ok so I have to start with the Warriors.  How bad are they?  Brian McClennan is doing way to good of an impression of Pat Lam.  Bluey, I’d hate to say it mate, but it’s not good enough.  The Warriors (Grand Finalists last year) have the player depth and the development coming through but they are missing one thing.  Now a lot of people will disagree with this but they are missing Aussies.  Where are the grafters?  There are loads of ball players and yes there is Michael Luck and Simon Mannering to get things done, but the Warriors can’t rely on two people alone to make the metres.  The reality is they need more and Rusty Packer and Sam Ripira etc aren’t getting the job done.  Add to that the fact that they are still missing a quality attacking Hooker since the departure of Nathan Fien, and it’s easy to see why the Warriors are struggling.  Yes Bluey had a squad he was dealt with, but let’s hope he can make the finals at a minimum, after all the final wasn’t that long ago and it’s hard to see a dip in form that goes from Grand Finalist to nowheresville in one season.

A quick side note has to go out here to George.  Yes the Protea’s beat the BlackCaps convincingly but that’s enough now, our ego is damaged enough now and we don’t need to be dragged through the mud again.  By us I mean my, although I’m sure you’ll never let me forget about it.  By the way, rumour has it you are still a filthy cheat in 30 Seconds. 

Dare I say we need to talk about the Rugby.   What a disgrace I was in the picking comps this weekend.  Definitely the worst round I have ever had in Virtual Sports Comps.  1 win in 7 games.  Don’t worry I’m appalled enough in myself for everyone.  Both the Highlanders and the Crusaders (who I thought as potential winners would win) lost, two games I picked the other way around.  And then there was the Aussie round from hell to pick followed by the Lions getting pumped by the Cheetahs.  Dammit!!!!!!!!!!  The Hurricanes much to my amazement smashed the Sharks, on both the scoreboard and in the all-in brawl they had.  Jannie du Plessis, not your finest moment pal, a hard open hand slap, really?!  I must apologise to the Bulls too.  The game against the Crusaders was of finals quality and you now must be considered genuine contenders, as must the Stormers after their brutal dismantling of the Highlanders.  Things weren’t pretty but you got it done when it counted, and fortunately for you Chris Noakes had the games from his nightmares to hand you every bit of possession you could have dreamed for. 

Whilst watching the Heineken Cup over the weekend I couldn’t help but notice one thing.  How much better at Rugby New Zealanders are than anybody in Europe.  I don’t mean any disrespect to some great European players (although nobody instantly springs to mind) I can’t help but feel you’re all just a bit crap.  During the Lienster Vs Cardiff Blues games the only thing the commentators could talk about was how good Brad Thorn was.  Don’t get me wrong I too think he is amazing as an athlete but if we are being brutal lets be honest.  He is 37, yes he has won a World Cup and yes he probably would have made the All Blacks this year, but next year?  I doubt it.  He is an ageing talent and yet he was head and shoulders above anybody else in a Heineken Cup Quarter Final, involving some of the best players that Europe has.  I predict as young and bright as the future of both Wales and England look, the Southern Hemisphere as usual will well and truly have the measure of their opponents from up north and dispatch them at will again and again as they have done so for the last 50-100 years.  Another couple of things have stuck out from this game that I watched.  The first being that the crowd was amazing.  55 000 people in Landsdowne Road (as it should always be known) for a club match.  And isn’t it eerie when they are all silent for kicks at goal, it is something that is surely off putting for those who kick goals from the Southern Hemisphere as it is something that is totally foreign to us.  The second interesting point for me was that the two Kiwi coaches of Leinster (Joe Schmidt & Jonno Gibbes) seem to be doing an awfully good job.  If I was Pat Lam, a) I would be hoping to be put out of my misery and fired before the end of the season, and, b) I would be looking over my shoulder at the number of New Zealand coaches coaching in Europe and excelling.  Not only is the list getting longer but more qualified to not only lead a Super Rugby franchise to glory but to use that as a stepping stone to the All Blacks, something that dear old Pat will never come within cooee of.  Fingers crossed anyway, we all thought the same could be said about Ian Foster, yet somehow he has managed to become an All Blacks assistant.  Let’s hope Pat Lam never finds himself as out of depth as ‘Fozzie’ is about to for the sake of all New Zealanders and world Rugby alike. 

Tigers' a prat, and we all know it.

I have to finish with the Masters today.  An American tradition that excludes well, pretty much everybody apart from the rich white males that have CEO after their name.  So a Swede leads a Yank and there are a few other guys playing.  One of them happens to be a former magician of his game who had a massive blowout a year or two ago in life and now couldn’t sink a drink properly let a lone a put or win a tournament let alone a ‘Grand Slam’.  So what has happened to Tiger, the once poster image of professional sport?  Watching him play at the Masters over the weekend I can’t help but compare him to a childish, spoiled brat.  Whenever something doesn’t go his way he is often recorded cursing and making a fool out of himself.  I am aware Golf can be frustrating, one only needs to follow me around the course for an example of that, but when you are cursing about being a foot further to the left that you wanted to be on the green, let’s be realistic, times could be tougher.  Tiger needs to grow up is what I’m saying, and I don’t think he will be any good again until he does.  He needs to bring some perspective and maturity to his game, after all he isn’t the 20-year-old protégée that he once was.  You’re in your mid 30’s man, grow up!  Personally I think Tiger is the greatest golfer that this world has ever seen, even better than the great Jack Nicklaus but I don’t think he will be remembered as that until he cleans his act up, grows up and starts winning tournaments again.  He his heading his way to being just another good golfer instead of the ‘Master’ he is and the legend that help grow and progress his sport to being a truly professional competitive organisation of real athletes rather than a comp full of old fat retired white dudes with too much money and time on their hands. 

So there we have it, aren’t you proud of me, two episodes in one weekend!  Oh and c’mon Bubba Watson!!  I’m backing you to win the Masters, after all it’s probably time someone loved you, you’re parents can’t of with that name if we’re being honest.

Til next week folks, Keep Going Balls to the Wall.

Contenders Vs Pretenders

Things are going to be a little different this week.  Now I know I’m a little overdue again but this weekend I’ve got a feeling we could be in for a double episode.

Today we’re going to have a glance at the Super Rugby table and find out who are the contenders and who are the pretenders for the remainder of the 2012 season.

The best place to begin would be to have a look at the conference leaders.  So whom do we have here?  Going into round 7, representing South Africa, it’s the Stormers.  Based on the last couple of seasons the Stormers have been the most consistent side out of the Republic alongside the all-conquering Bulls of course but have just fallen short each year.  Again they are in the early running of this year they seem to have picked up where they left off.  They still have great defence, but unfortunately for them, that’s about it.  They play less running rugby than the Bulls, and that’s saying something.   So whilst they are there at the top of the table unbeaten going into playing the Highlanders this weekend I feel that they are only there by default.  They are yet to play anyone of any real quality, have been based in Cape Town for all but one game so far, and are yet to blow anyone away as a team stacked full of their quality should.

Moving over to Aussie and the situation is a shambles.  Aside from the fact that most of their teams appear to be invitation sides packed full of any decent Australian playing, and then a bunch of journeymen New Zealanders that didn’t quite have what it takes to break through back home so packed up and went where there was an offer of any kind, they are all playing diabolical inconsistent rugby which will get them nowhere in the long run.  The Brumbies, who are leading the conference still, after having just been beaten by the Reds only have a 50% win rate this year.  In the old system they would be scraping in at 6^th with a host of teams below them still with a game to play over the weekend who could pass them.  The Australian Conference is so bad that the positions there team occupy are 6^th, 8^th, 10^th, 11^th and 13^th, and again it could get a whole lot worse if the Lions win and push that 11^th to a 12^th and the 13^th to a 14^th.   Hardly what I’d call setting the world alight here boys.  Surely this is a good case for the finals system to be put back to the old system whereby it is the top 4 or 6 teams who qualify for the finals based on how many points they have accumulated, and that alone.

The Chiefs stumbled their way to victory over the Force over the weekend.

Even with the new system in place, which is designed to make the finals a convenient two teams from each conference, making the whole affair suspiciously more marketable etc etc blah blah blah.  If the Highlanders and the Crusaders both win this weekend (which is highly possible) NZ will have four teams in the top six and could rightly claim to be 1^st, 2^nd, 4^th and 5^th.  We’ll just have to forget about the fairies from the top of the North Island who are pretty much the disgrace of the competition if we are being honest.  This weekend it was the Highlanders and the Chiefs who were tied to be the top of the conference in NZ.  Both teams could claim to have title contenders written all over them.  The Chiefs have bigger names and slightly better depth, particularly in key positions, but they played horribly against the Force and managed to sneak a result, perhaps the hallmark of a title winning side me thinks.  In saying that you would write the Highlanders off at your own peril.  They play with such grit and determination and with an ever-growing confidence that one feels the added depth they have gained from last year will surely be enough to bring them a first finals appearance since 2002. 

If we have a quick glance at the other pretenders, I say ‘other’ as I mentioned earlier all of the Australian teams, which I feel, must come into this category, and we have the usual suspects in the form of the Lions, the Cheetahs, the Sharks have been so up and down and rubbish they might as well be included in this list also, even with the 16 Springboks that they boast in their ranks, and one of the surprises of the season; the ever underperforming Blues.  Now normally the Blues will just miss out on the playoffs and the season review is full of almosts and what ifs etc, this year however they are appalling.  Words can’t describe how terrible they have been.  A host of All Blacks, seasoned veterans, a couple of new imports with almost 200 Super Rugby games between them and a pile of youth to throw into the mix.  Problem is, their coach sux and has finally been caught out.  He can’t make positional decisions on his players let alone match tactics.  The Blues often seem devoid of any ideas at all.  If I was involved in the Blues management Pat Lam would be gone well before the end of the season, hell I’d even make it next week if I could.  I’ve heard interviews with people blaming injuries etc for the Blues lack of form.  What a load of Horse S%&t!!!  What team hasn’t had injuries, the Lions are missing at least 10 of their First XV, and they are right in every game suffering close loss after close loss, the Blues, except for pumping the Bulls have rarely been in any contest!

In summary there are 4 teams in with a chance of winning this thing nearing the halfway stage, the Chiefs, Highlanders, Crusaders and either the Stormers or Bulls, we’ll just have to wait until the end of the weekend to see who is going to put their hand up the highest.

Now, I’ve got the Masters to watch, some Heineken Cup, NRL and three more Super Rugby Games to watch so I’d better fly.

Till Sunday, or Monday depending on where you live in the world, Keep going Balls to the Wall.